Sunday, April 18, 2010

The long lost post: "You look like beefcake....You sound like beefcake, so why do you put me to sleep?!?"

I'm talking about you, Sam Worthington! A draft of this post has been sitting on my blog for the past few weeks, but I just haven't had the muster to sit down and finish writing it until today; and even now, it's a little bit of forced writing as I'm hanging out at Beaner's waiting to meet with someone to go over planning for Sylvain's Troop's summer camp outing. So, have some unexpected down time at the moment....

I hate to say it, but there's just something about you that is my personal Lunesta....Up until a couple of weeks ago, I had been very happy to share my thoughts on Avatar, despite having fallen asleep twice (twice!) while sitting in a packed 3-D showing. [Yes, snoring included....or so I'm told]. I seemed to lose consciousness each time during scenes in which you were delivering long pieces of dialog (or so I'm told).

Being willing to write that business off to just shitty writing, I was one of the few folks actually eager to see you in Clash of the Titans. I can confidently say that I walked into the theater fully awake to the 2-D (not packed) show with Sylvain; but somewhere towards the middle of the movie, Sylvain realized that he was losing me and delivered a sharp elbow into my arm. I was truly glad to have my knitting with me that evening because out of my purse it came and it kept me awake until the end of the movie. Sure, Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes could've helped in keeping me invested in watching, but I was having a hard time getting past a couple of things: the bright light and haloed shimmer around Liam's Zeus reminded me of soap opera-esque soft focus scenes, so I was a little disappointed that Hera wasn't around to do any bitchy Telemundo-like hair pulling and eye-clawing over Zeus' baby-daddy ways; also, I really wished I hadn't read any reviews going into it because all I could do was nod in agreement to all of the critics who wondered if anyone told Ralph that he wasn't on the Harry Potter set anymore, so he didn't need to channel his Voldemort persona so closely to play Hades.

Anyways, I digress.....Returning home, I started to wonder why I was having a hard time staying awake during those two films in particular. I've seen plenty of movies and even started going to attend the live MET performances being streamed at the theater and those are at least 3 hours long at their shortest. (And in a different language to boot.) The only conclusion I can come to is that you're the common link. I honestly can't remember if I fell asleep to Terminator Salvation also; that was a year ago, after all. I'll need to consult my movie companions for that; though, I doubt that they would've been able to hear any snoring over all of the explosions to have noticed. Hmmmm....Maybe Christian Bale trumped any effect you had on me.

Better luck next time! I still have high hopes for you and haven't written off watching your films like some other actors.

Oh, and for a current action movie that kept me interested the whole time, see Kick Ass.

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